Let's get real. Life is messy, unpredictable, and often filled with moments that challenge everything we thought we knew. But in that messiness lies an invitation—to grow, to surrender, and to discern the voice of God amidst the chaos.
This past week, I found myself reflecting on some of the most transformative moments of my life. These weren’t the mountaintop experiences where everything felt glorious and secure; they were the valleys, the places of fear, anger, and surrender. As I’ve shared with you before, 2018 was a year that completely changed my faith. It was the year I stopped merely believing in God and started walking with Him—really hearing Him. But let me take you back to where it all began, a story of fear, anger, and ultimately, grace.
Key Takeaways:
Surrendering control can reveal God's bigger plan.
Discerning God's voice requires trust and obedience, even when outcomes look different than expected.
Personal transformation often begins in the hardest moments.
Your story, with all its messy parts, can be a testimony of hope and healing for others.
God equips us with the strength to move forward, not through perfection, but through His grace.
The Journey to Discerning God's Voice
In 2018, my world was shaken when my oldest daughter was taken across state lines by her biological father. For days, fear consumed my husband and me as we wondered if she would come home safely. And when she was finally returned, instead of relief, I felt anger—anger at the situation, at God, and at myself for feeling so powerless. In hindsight, I see how those moments set the stage for what God wanted to teach me: that His voice often comes in the quietest, most vulnerable places of our lives.
I began to pray, not out of habit or obligation, but out of a desperate need to understand. At first, it felt like I was throwing words into the void, but something shifted when I started praying for my daughter’s biological father. It wasn’t about condoning actions but about obedience—an act of releasing control to God. And in that surrender, I started hearing Him more clearly.
Wrestling with Expectations and Outcomes
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that God’s outcomes don’t always match my expectations. When I started praying for restoration, I imagined immediate miracles. Instead, I was met with what felt like devastation. My daughter’s return wasn’t the joyful resolution I expected; it came with emotional scars and unanswered questions. It took years to see that what looked like chaos was actually a carefully orchestrated step in God’s plan.
I realized I was putting my trust in what I wanted God to do, not in who He is. Discerning His voice meant letting go of my earthly perception and trusting that His timing and ways are infinitely better than my own.
Transformation Through Obedience
While I wrestled with anger and disappointment, my husband experienced a profound spiritual awakening. Overnight, he became a different person—peaceful, joyful, and fully surrendered. And I was angry. How could he find peace when I was still grappling with so much pain? But watching his transformation reminded me that God works uniquely in each of us. I saw how obedience—even reluctant obedience—could lead to breakthroughs I couldn’t have imagined.
Finding God in the Messy Middle
What I’ve come to embrace is that life doesn’t have a neat bow tied around it. It’s messy, and that’s okay. God’s presence isn’t contingent on perfection. He’s there in the mess, teaching us to find joy in the journey and strength in the struggle. For me, discerning His voice has meant recognizing that the messiness of life is where His grace shows up the most.
Sharing Your Story Brings Hope
One of the biggest revelations I’ve had is the power of testimony. Sharing my story—the doubts, the anger, the moments of surrender—isn’t just about me. It’s about offering hope to others who are walking through their own valleys. God doesn’t call us to hide our struggles; He calls us to use them as a beacon for others.
Final Thoughts
As I reflect on this journey of discerning God’s voice, I’m reminded that it’s not about having all the answers. It’s about trusting Him in the questions. Life’s messiness isn’t a barrier to hearing God; it’s the very place where His voice becomes clearest. If you’re in a season of doubt or struggle, let this be your reminder: God is there, and He is speaking. Be still, let go of your expectations, and trust that He is working all things for your good—even in the messy middle.
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